Can I get this translated into the pronunciation of english

like Hello is Russian would be pronounced privEt

Russian:

Не видели ваш осел здесь на некоторое время, были у вас было?

Я делал некоторые личные бизнес.

Хорошо также является боссом вверх по лестнице последней двери в прихожей.

English:
Haven't seen your ass around here in awhile, were have you been?

I've been doing some personal business.

Alright well the boss is up the stairs last door in the hallway.

privet sestruxa! davno ne obshialis'! kak dela chego novogo?

I know it's not in proper Russian writing but if you can translate this for me i'd really appreciate it!
Thanks!

Can you tell me some basic words in Russian?? i swear i love that languagee !! i know how to sayy ...Ya ne gavaryu mnoga pa ruski. Ochen xarasho. Privet. Da. Nyet. Dasvidanya....... Lol anything else?? Or some phrases?

Privet ! B kakom gorode tu zivesh`? what does that mean? thanx in advance!

I understand this person is possibly mad at me and i know it has cuss words in it, but i really need to know what it mean. can you help me out?
Privet. Kak pahzivayesh? Khorosh? Alyasta awalakega umenya udachi dovinish. Spasciba zevali yabalo' na kaleni cyka. Sosi moi hoi suka pizdet govno.
update
I spoke to this person and someone else added the other words, it was someone else who was rude.

Privet! S Novym Godom!!!

It would only have to be phoneticaly - such as "Privet" or "ochen"
How would I write this:

"Ah, yes, Nikolaev. I hear that this is a very beautiful city. How long have you lived in the U.S? ...
Yes, it is interesting. You've probably noticed that not many Americans speak a language other than English, even though our ancestors are from all over the world"

would you like to help me with a project?
theres this russian band i like, but i dont speak russian.
I would like too make a youtube video of the song and over top of it write what the lyrics mean in English and how to say them. like a sing a long. like this.
"privet"
"Pre-Ve-Et"
"hello"

is this a good idea?
my one youtube video got 30.000 views
i dont expect much from this one but it would be fun.
someone please want to help me?

I know the languages are different but still...I wondered.
Russian is kinda my mother tangue. My mum speaks Russian and she taught me it but I grew up in London.
Privet Ann. Spasibo za informatseu. wow 4 ezika....malodets.

Privet!!!!
I'm teaching myself Russian and I understand the alphabet, male and female words/wording. I kind of know how to write in Russian but, not fully. I really REALLY want to speak Russian but, It's totally different that pronouncing the words. Some Russian words need to be translated to English and some are translated already in English.
I need some help on this. lol HELP!

Spasibo!

I need it in the english form i.e. the way privet is hello.

fuck off, and never contact me again, I don't like you, I don't love you and I'm happy with him so FUCK off.

Apparently it is not quite clear to someone so I also want to sent it in russian since he is russian.
Could it be not in cyrilic but in the other tye like privet and poka and ja lublu teba type of writing.